THE MUSLIM HOME. EPISODE 2️⃣1️⃣ - Forming the Household 1️⃣9️⃣

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*THE MUSLIM HOME*

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*EPISODE 2️⃣1️⃣ - Forming the Household 1️⃣9️⃣*

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*2️⃣3️⃣ Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family*

Showing affection towards one’s wife and children is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ advised Jaabir رضي الله عنه to marry a virgin, saying: 

*_“Why did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make you laugh?”_*

(The Hadeeth is reported in a number of places in the books of Al-Bukhaari and Muslim, such as Al-Bukhaari, al-Fat-h, 9/121)

The Prophet ﷺ, also said: 

*_“Everything in which Allaah’s name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his wife, . . .”_*

(Reported by An-Nasaa'i in ‘Ushrat an-Nisa’, p. 87; also in Saheeh al-Jaami’)

The Prophet ﷺ, used to treat his wife ‘Aa’ishah رضي الله عنه, affectionately when doing Ghusl with her, as she said: 

*_“The Messenger of Allaah and I used to do Ghusl together from one vessel, and he would pretend to take all the water so that I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me,’”_* and both of them were in a state of Janaabah (impurity). 

(Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 4/6)

The ways in which the Prophet ﷺ, showed affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He often used to show his affection towards Hasan and Husayn رضي الله عنه, as mentioned above. This is probably one of the reasons why the children used to rejoice when he came back from travelling; they would rush to welcome him, as reported in the Saheeh Hadeeth: 

*_“Whenever he came back from a journey, the children of his household would be taken out to meet him.”_* He ﷺ, used to hug them close to him, as ‘AbdAllaah ibn Ja'far رضي الله عنه, said: *_“Whenever the Prophet, came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn and I. He carried one of us in front of him, and another on his back, until we entered Madeenah.”_*

(Reported by Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see the commentary in Tuhfat al-Ahwathi, 8/56)

Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there are no truthful jokes [i.e., jokes that do not involve lying], no affection and no mercy. Whoever thinks that kissing his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following Hadeeth: from Abu Hurayrah,رضي الله عنه, who said: 

*_“The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ, kissed al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, and al-Aqra’ ibn Haabis at-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra’ said: ‘I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.’ The Messenger of Allaahﷺ, looked at him and said: ‘The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’”_*

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*2️⃣4️⃣ Resisting bad manners in the home*

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Every member of the household is bound to have some bad characteristics, such as lying, backbiting, gossiping and so on. These bad characteristics have to be resisted and opposed. 

Some people think that corporal punishment is the only way to deal with such things. The following Hadeeth is very educational on this topic: from ‘Aa’ishah رضي الله عنه, who said: 

*_“If the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ, came to know that one of his household had told a lie, he would try to ignore him until he repented.”_*

(See al-Musnad by Imaam Ahmad, 6/152. The text of the Hadeeth is also in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 4675)

It is clear from the Hadeeth that turning away and forsaking a person by not speaking to them, rather than resorting to punishment, is effective in such circumstances, and may be more effective than physical punishment, so let parents and caregivers think about this. 

_To be continued... إِنْ شَاءَ ٱللّٰهُ‎_

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