THE MUSLIM HOME. EPISODE 1️⃣5️⃣ - Forming the Household 1️⃣3️⃣

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*THE MUSLIM HOME*

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*EPISODE 1️⃣5️⃣ - Forming the Household 1️⃣3️⃣*

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*1️⃣5️⃣ Taking careful note of what family members are up to*

• Who are your children’s friends? 

• Have you met them before? 

• What do your children bring home from outside? 

• Where does your daughter go, and with whom? 

Some parents do not know that their children have in their possession bad pictures, pornographic movies and even drugs. Some of them do not know that their daughter goes with the (female) servant to the market, then asks the servant to wait with the driver whilst she goes to her appointment or “date” with one of the Shayaateen (devils), or to smoke and mess about with her bad friends. Those who neglect their children will not be let off on that terrible Day, nor will they be able to flee from the horrors of the Day of Reckoning. 

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: *_“Allaah will ask every shepherd [or responsible person] about his flock [those for whom he was responsible], whether he took care of it or neglected it, until He asks a man about his household.”_*

(Reported by An-Nasaa'i, 292, and Ibn Hibbaan from Anas; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1775; as-Silsilah asSaheehah, 1636)

*There are some important points to note here:*

1. This supervision must be subtle. 

2. The atmosphere should not be intimidating. 

3. The child must not be made to feel that he or she is not trusted. 

4. Advice and/or punishments must be measured against the ages of the children, their levels of understand and the extent of the wrongful behavior. 

5. Beware of negative methods of checking on children and making them feel that their every move is being watched. I have been told of a person who has a computer in which he records every mistake his children make in detail. If one of his children does something wrong, he sends him a memo requesting his presence, then he opens the child’s file in the computer and tells him all his previous mistakes, as well as the current misdemeanor.

Note: we are not talking about a company here. The father is not the angel whose job it is to write down bad deeds. This father needs to read more about the principles of Islaamic upbringing and education. 

I also know of people at the other extreme, who refuse to get involved in their children’s affairs at all, claiming that the child will not be convinced that a mistake is a mistake or a sin is a sin unless he does it and then finds out for himself that it is a mistake. 

This deviant idea comes from being weaned on ideas of western philosophy and notions of absolute freedom. Some of them give their child free rein, fearing that the child may start to hate them, saying: _“I will earn his love whatever he does.”_

Some of them give the child free rein as a reaction to their own over-strict upbringings, thinking that they have to do the absolute opposite with their own children. Some of them take this stupid attitude to extremes by saying: _“Let our sons and daughters enjoy their youth as they wish.”_ Do these people not think that their children might pull on their clothes on the Day of Resurrection and say: _“O my father, why did you leave me in sin?”_

_To be continued... إِنْ شَاءَ ٱللّٰهُ‎_

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