Discussing Sawdah* [[----- Part 2-of-8 -----]]

 *Discussing Sawdah*

[[----- Part 2-of-8 -----]]
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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Nana Sawdah (r.a.) was not only generous by giving charity, but when it came to other people’s emotional needs. Sawdah, being attuned to others’ needs, gave up her days with the Prophet (PBUH) to Aisha (ra).

Nana Aisha (r.a.) said about Saudah, *“never did I find any woman more loving to me than Sawda bint Zam’a. I wished I could be exactly like her …”*. 📚Muslim

My People!

Instead of fighting, quarreling or warning the men against injustice, mistreating their spouses, women who fear mistreatment or desertion are told by Allah (swt) that they can seek a means of reconciliation. Yes. What many people don’t realize is that Surah 4:128 was actually composed in relation to prophet Muhammad’s attitude towards his wife Sauda bint Zamah because she had become old and unattractive. The late Sunni scholar - Ibn Kathir wrote:

*"Making peace is better than separation. An example of such peace can be felt in the story of Sawdah bint Zam'ah who WHEN SHE BECAME AGED, THE PROPHET WANTED TO DIVORCE HER, but she made peace with him by offering the night he used to spend with her to A'isha so that he would keep her. The Prophet accepted such terms and kept her"*. Then, Allah (swt) revealed:

وَإِنِ ٱمْرَأَةٌ خَافَتْ مِنۢ بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزًا أَوْ إِعْرَاضًا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يُصْلِحَا بَيْنَهُمَا صُلْحًاۚ وَٱلصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌۗ..."

"And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them -  and settlement is best...." 📚An-Nisa' 4:128

Servants of Allah!

Men can keep their marriages no matter how horrible they feel in keeping it (if they desire so), and women may decide to keep their marriages no matter the negative attitudes of their husbands (if they desire to do so). Yes. Instead of spouses bargaining for 100 out of 100 rights, they can choose to let go some of their rights just to avoid divorce & giving peace a chance.

Now,

*2, 3, or 4 Women Marrying One Man:*

A man who has more than one wife is obligated to observe equality, justice, and fairness among his wives in the amount, type, and quality of nafaqah (feeding), and even in mannerism. Yes. It is the duty of polygamous men to behave comparably in all events, even if their wives are different in age, beauty, character, social status, and other virtues and perfections.

Also,

It is clear in the verse of the below that, the justice amongst wives *does not include love or feelings* 😳. Yes.

Evidence:

وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوٓا۟ أَن تَعْدِلُوا۟ بَيْنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا۟ كُلَّ ٱلْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَٱلْمُعَلَّقَةِ ۚ وَإِن تُصْلِحُوا۟ وَتَتَّقُوا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا

"And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah - then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful." 📚An-Nisaa (4:129)

But,

Other aspects of mu'amalat mentioned above are non-negotiable. Yes. A man with morethan one wife must ensure justice in those aspects *(feeding, accommodation, clothing etc)* except feelings/love. Yes.. Bcos Allah (swt) knows that it's not possible for any man on earth to keep more than one woman as a wife and love them equally or feel the same for them (50-50). Yes. Even the prophet Muhammad was not excluded in this.

TO BE CONTINUED


سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك نشهد ان لا اله الا انت نستغفرك ونتوابوااليك