Realities in Homes* [[------12th Show -----]]

 *Realities in Homes*

[[------12th Show -----]]
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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

If we bargain for or insist on "immediate" changing our spouse's uncomfortable behaviors, then, such expectations can never be realizable because their behavior probably won't be changing significantly anytime soon.

This remind me,

Few weeks ago, in the cause of discussing communication issue related to the above topic, someone private-chart me to suggest ways of handling situation where *"effective communication between husband and wife is not feasible"*. Meaning, one of the spouses is always declining having communication to settle issues causing marital conflict.

To me,

This kind of problem is not new and it's not enough for couples having this type of challenges to lose hope. Yes.

I have seen husbands & wives who operated a *"post office"* style of communication.. Yes.. The husband write a message on a piece of paper for the wife, drop it on the center table.. The wife pick it and reply the husband on the same piece of paper.. Wallahi I have seen husband & wife who spent morethan 2months communicating through this means just because of insignificant disagreeable disagreement.

This might sound funny but it's not a big problem which should make couples lose hope. The most important thing is to be courageous and patient as couples (for one day ego-better between both of you). Yes. After all, Allah (swt) say in surah Al-Anfal, chapter 8 verse 46

وَأَطِيعُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥ وَلَا تَنَٰزَعُوا۟ فَتَفْشَلُوا۟ وَتَذْهَبَ رِيحُكُمْۖ وَٱصْبِرُوٓا۟ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ

"And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not disagree or argue and lose courage, if not, your strength would depart; and be patient.  Indeed, Allah is with the patient".

Regarding the matter above,

If you are not in talking terms at all or you communicate but you are not seeing a positive results, then, we advice you try a different approach

Muslim Faithful!

Everyone communicates differently. Yes. And if you don’t understand your wife or she is unable to understand you, try a different approach. Use an example or analogy, or try explaining in a different way. You can even try writing your feelings down in a letter or text message. It sounds funny, but it can really work, especially when you’re just not seeing eye to eye.

Now,

If you have exhausted all the workable methods and yet, nothing is working between the two of you regarding "effective communication", then, there might be good reasons.

*Why Your Spouse Doesn't Listen:*

A listening problem in a relationship could be related to many different issues. Common contributing factors include you or your partner's method of delivery.

What's Method of Delivery?

Often, the way we say things is just as important as what we're saying. Yes. A negative, argumentative tone, roundabout speaking, and or passive-aggressiveness are just a few of the ways you may be inadvertently sabotaging your conversations. Remember that every teacher knows what he or she wants to teach, but the greatest challenge before every teacher is - *"how to pass the knowledge"* - this is the same in every situation. Yes. Communication without Wisdom is useless. This is why Allah (swt) say:

ٱدْعُ إِلَىٰ سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِٱلْحِكْمَةِ وَٱلْمَوْعِظَةِ ٱلْحَسَنَةِۖ وَجَٰدِلْهُم بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُۚ

"Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best..." 📚An-Nahl 16:125

Now,

Here are 10 problems with your communication delivery that could be causing your spouse to tune you out—as well as suggestions for how to fix the problem so that you both feel respected and heard.

*Problem No 1:* Too Many Words

TO BE CONTINUED


سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك نشهد ان لا اله الا انت نستغفرك ونتوابوااليك