Suffering in Silence* [[--- Episode 10 ---]]

 *Suffering in Silence*

[[--- Episode 10 ---]]
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بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

Religious leaders preach patience but rarely hold men accountable for emotional neglect. The neglected wife is told to *"make dua"* (pray), while the husband faces no consequences for his imbalance.

Also,

Communities often turn a blind eye, whispering *"it’s a private matter"* or *"she should be more patient."* But as the proverb goes, *"The axe forgets, but the tree remembers."* These women carry scars no one sees. 

Muslim Faithful!

When a man marries multiple wives but fails to balance his affections, he doesn’t just break hearts—he fractures families. Yes. And the neglected wife watches as her co-wife’s children receive gifts, education, and paternal love, while her own are treated like afterthoughts. 

*"A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."* 

These women endure emotional trauma in silence, swallowing their pride because society tells them *"a good woman bears her pain with patience."* But patience has its limits. When a woman reaches her breaking point, she may see no way out but to end her suffering permanently. Yes. In some cases, by running to huge electric transformer😀.

Now,

*Fairness as regards staying the night & spending time with wives:*

With regard to the husband going out when it is one wife’s turn, if that is because of some need and he does not intend to hurt her and he is not going out to the other wife to enjoy himself, there is nothing wrong with that in sha Allah. The basis of equal sharing of time is staying the night. Yes. He has to spend most of the night with the wife whose turn it is. Allah has not created any hardship in religion, and it does not prevent the husband from going out or going shopping or attending classes during the time of one of his wives, if he does not intend to hurt her by going out, and he does not spend most of the night outside the house of the wife whose turn it is.

Dr Ahmad Rayaan said:

"Some of the scholars have spoken in strict terms about fairness in dividing his time, and they say that everyone who goes against that is not treating his wives equally. Some of them even say that if he comes to the first wife after sunset and to the second after ‘Isha’, he is not treating them equally"

How many men now can regulate their movements in such a way as to make sure they enter the house before the sun goes down each day, so that their division of time and their spending the night with each wife is 100% equal?

Oh you who believe!

We have seen from the hadeeth the way in which this division of time was achieved in the family of the Prophet (pbuh).. And the fact that he visited his other wives by night or by day, or met with them in the house of the wife whose turn it was did not contradict this fair division of time.. This symbolizes that a man with morethan one wife can visit other wives rooms, *whether they live in the same house or not* to see how they are fairing.

On this,

A’isha (RA) narrates that the prophet (saw) would treat his wives equally and justly, and then say: “O Allah! This is my distribution according to my capability, thus do not hold me for what you own and I don’t (meaning, what is in your capability and beyond my means).” 📚(Sunan Tirmidhi, no. 1140, Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 3133 & Musnad Ahmad)

*Fairness Amongst Co-wives As Regards Sexual Intercourse:*

Read episode 11 In Shaa Allah

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