Suffering in Silence* [[---- Episode 6 ----]]

 *Suffering in Silence*

[[---- Episode 6 ----]]
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*The Untold Story of Wives Who Bear the Weight of Family Survival Alone*

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

Many husbands pride themselves on having *"helped"* their wives by providing a small business capital—perhaps a few thousand naira or dollars or because the wife is working to collect monthly salary—then sit back, expecting miracles. But business or life generally is not magic; it requires continuous investment, strategy, and additional financial support. The wife runs up and down, while her husband assumes his *"duty is done,"* leaving her to stretch that meager capital given to the wife years back like *"a drop of water in a desert."* 

My people!

Islam and many traditional cultures actually uphold the principle that a wife can—and often does—support her husband in times of need. However, it becomes a grave injustice, a sin against both Allah and humanity, when a husband shirks his financial responsibilities, leaving his wife to bear the crushing weight of the family’s survival alone. 

This is not just neglect; it is oppression. And the Qur'an warns, *"fear the day every soul will be compensated with what it earned"* (Qur’an 2:281). 

Imagine a woman—once full of dreams, now weathered by the storms of life—running under the scorching sun, drenched in rain, braving cold winds, all to sell goods in the market, hawk from door to door, or labor in menial jobs just to put food on the table. She pays school fees, buys uniforms, covers medical bills, and even struggles to pay rent—while her husband sits comfortably, offering nothing but meager "business capital" as if it were a favor. 

An Igbo proverb says, *"The man who watches his wife carry a heavy load without helping has forgotten that her fall is his disgrace."* 

My people!

Islam places the financial responsibility (nafaqah) squarely on the husband’s shoulders. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, *"The best among you is the one who is best to his wife"* 📚(Tirmidhi). Yet, some men twist religious teachings, claiming that since the wife *can* work, she *must* bear the burden alone. This is not Islam—this is exploitation. 

A Yoruba proverb says, *"A man who does not feed his family is like a river that refuses to flow—it becomes a stagnant pool of misery.😀"* 

This is not just neglect; it is a betrayal of trust. The Prophet (PBUH) warned: *"It is enough sin for a man that he neglects those whom he is obligated to maintain"* 📚(Abu Dawud). 

Ironically,

Some men cling to cultural traditions only when it benefits them. They insist that "a woman’s place is in the home" but are quick to enjoy the money she makes when they fail to provide. They quote religion to demand obedience but ignore its commands to be just and compassionate. 

A Swahili saying goes, *"You cannot use a rope to drag a goat and still expect it to graze for you."* 

If a woman *chooses* to work and support her husband, it is a blessing. But if she is *forced* to do so because of his neglect, it is oppression. And oppression has no place in Islam or any just society. 

*The Children See Everything*

Children are not fools. They watch as their mother breaks her back to provide while their father remains indifferent. They notice who pays their fees, who nurses them when they’re sick, and who stays up late mending their clothes. One day, they will ask: *"Father, where were you?"* And no excuse will erase the years of neglect. 

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