Suffering in Silence* [[---- Episode 8 ----]]

 *Suffering in Silence*

[[---- Episode 8 ----]]
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*Muslim Men Favoring One Wife Over Another*

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

Narrated from Abu Hurayrah (RA) that the Prophet (pbuh) said: *“Whoever has two wives and favours one of them over the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides leaning (ie- Paralysed).”* 📚 Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1141), Abu Dawood (2133), al-Nasaa’i (3942) and Ibn Majaah (1969).

Now,

*"A house divided against itself cannot stand."* — This ancient proverb painfully mirrors the emotional wreckage left behind when a Muslim man marries multiple wives but showers love and attention on only one, leaving the others in the shadows of neglect.

Muslim Faithful!

Allah (swt) says in the Quran: *"Marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one..."*📚(Quran 4:3) 

The verse is clear —justice is not optional; it is a divine command. Yet, many men treat it as a mere suggestion, like *"carrying water in a sieve"*— their efforts futile and their promises empty.

Today,

A man may swear fairness with honeyed words, but actions speak louder. One wife becomes the *"golden child,"* receiving affection, financial support, and attention, while the other is relegated to the back burner—like a forgotten pot left to boil dry. 

The reality is, 

Many men enter polygyny with good intentions but fall prey to *"the heart wants what it wants."* They justify favoritism with excuses— *"She understands me better,"* *"She’s younger,"* *"We have more chemistry."* But Islam does not permit emotional bias.

A wife who is sidelined suffers more than just loneliness—she battles feelings of worthlessness. *"A heart ignored is a storm restrained,"* and when her pain is dismissed, it festers like an untreated wound. She watches as her co-wife receives gifts, attention, and companionship while she is reduced to a mere obligation.

*Fairness In Accommodation:*

What is meant by fairness in accommodation is that each of them should have her own accommodation where he comes to her, and their accommodation should not vary with the intention of favouring one over the other.

Ibn Qudaamah said:

The man does not have the right to make his two wives live together in one house without their consent, whether they are young or old, because that causes them harm due to the enmity and jealousy that exists between them, so making them live together provokes arguments and fighting, and each of them can hear sounds when he is intimate with the other, or she can see that. But if they agree to that, then it is permissible, because they have that right but they are also allowed to forego it.
📚Al-Mughni, 7/229.

Beloved brother!

It is injustice if for instance, u make available *Room & Pallor Face-Me-I-Face-You* with general toilet & kitchen for 1st wife with 4 children, and a 2 bedroom flat for 2nd wife with only one child.. But there is NO SIN if u make available for ur 1st wife, a 3 bedroom flat because, at that particular time, she have 5 children. And 2nd wife with No child yet or with only one child, a one bedroom flat.

Furthermore,

Any of ur wives can leave in extrally more comfortable accommodation if she is a working class type and can pay accommodation fees from her pocket.

*Fairness as Regards to Feeding, Clothing, Gifts, Spending Time, Travelling etc etc*

Read episode 9 In Shaa Allah

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