Suffering in Silence* [[---- Episode 7 ----]

 *Suffering in Silence*

[[---- Episode 7 ----]]
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*Husbands Who Lavish Strangers While Starving Their Families*

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

In Islam, the permission to marry more wife is ONLY given to married men who pay a MINIMUM of 80% family bills and still have excess financial powers to carry more responsibilities. Yes. Outside this, it's a sin to engage in any relationship with the intention of marriage, because even the first marriage is not compulsory if you can't pay the bills.

Evidence:

وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا حَتَّىٰ يُغْنِيَهُمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِۦۗ

"But let those who find not the means for marriage abstain from it and sexual relations until Allāh enriches them from His bounty. 📚An-Nur 24:33

*The Fleeting Men:*

In general term, "A man who fails his family is like a tree with strong branches that provides shade for strangers while its roots wither in drought." — 📚African Proverb 

My people,

Marriage is meant to be a sacred covenant—a promise to love, cherish, and provide. Yet, some husbands wear the mask of a family man while secretly emptying their pockets and hearts into the laps of women who owe them nothing. These men play the hero to outsiders while becoming the villain in their own homes. 

As the saying goes, *"Charity begins at home,"* but for these husbands, generosity flows freely elsewhere, leaving their wives and children in emotional famine. 

In actual sense,

*"A man who waters another man’s garden while his own farm lies barren is not kind— he is a fool."* — 📚Nigerian Proverb 

It is a painful irony when a man who claims he *"has no money"* for his children’s upkeep or school fees suddenly finds bundles of cash to buy expensive gifts, dinners, and vacations for another woman. His wife, who once believed in his love, now watches as he becomes a *"knight in shining armor"* for every woman except the one he vowed to protect. 

*"A house with a loving husband is a fortress; a house with a neglectful one is a prison."* — 📚Chinese Proverb 

Money is only part of the betrayal. The greater crime is the theft of time—the hours, days, and years he invests in strangers while his own family languishes in emotional poverty. 

The reality is,

*"The axe forgets, but the tree remembers."* — 📚Zimbabwean Proverb 

When confronted, these husbands often turn the tables: 
- *"You’re just insecure!"* 
- *"I work hard for this family—I deserve to be appreciated"* 
- *"Why are you always nagging me?"* 

This is gaslighting—a cruel tactic to make the wife doubt her own reality. She begins to wonder if she’s the problem, while he continues his exploits unchecked. 

We must remember a proverb *"When the head of the fish rots, the whole body stinks."* — 📚Jamaican Proverb 

A family led by a deceitful man is like a ship with a cracked hull—it’s only a matter of time before it sinks. The children grow up resentful, the wife becomes a shadow of herself, and the man? He may enjoy his *"freedom"* now, but time has a way of revealing the truth. 

One day, he may find himself old and alone, realizing too late that the women he spent on were never his, while the family he neglected was his only true legacy. 

My brother,

The money you waste on fleeting pleasures could have built a future for your children. The time you give to strangers could have healed your marriage. 

Would you rather be remembered as a king in your home… or a jester in the streets? The choice is yours.

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