Suffering in Silence* [[--- Episode 11 ---]]

 *Suffering in Silence*

[[--- Episode 11 ---]]
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*Absentees Men Inside the Bedroom*

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

A happy wife makes a happy life—this age-old proverb holds more truth than many men realize. When a man takes the time to understand his wife’s desires, he doesn’t just light a fire in the bedroom; he keeps the home warm. *"A woman who is well-loved in the dark will shine brightly in the light."*

A man who neglects his wife’s sexual needs is like a farmer who plants seeds but refuses to water them—nothing will grow. If he fails to tend to her garden, another man’s shadow may loom over the fence😀. 

In many homes today,

Emotional neglect is the first crack in the dam. Yes. When a husband turns away from his wife night after night, she begins to question her worth. The mind wanders, the heart aches, and the body—deprived of touch—starts responding to the slightest attention from another man.

Some women endure for years, swallowing their desires like bitter pills, but *"even the most patient kettle will boil over if left on the fire too long😀."* And when a woman reaches her breaking point, she may seek warmth in dangerous places—whether through emotional affairs, secret flirtations, or full-blown infidelity. 

Now,

*Men With More than One Wife*

Many Muslim men take multiple wives without considering the emotional and sexual imbalance they create. 

When a husband divides his time unevenly, one wife basks in attention while the other withers in loneliness. The neglected wife isn’t just deprived of sex—she is starved of affection, intimacy, and validation. *"A flower unwatered will bend toward the first hand that offers rain."*

Her body chemistry doesn’t pause just because her husband is elsewhere. Yes. Night after night, she battles frustration, resentment, and the humiliation of being second-best. *"A hungry heart has no religion, no loyalty—only need."*

Some women endure silently, praying for change. Others grow bitter, their love turning to ashes. And a few, pushed to the edge, may seek solace in haram (forbidden) ways. *"When the well runs dry, even poison water starts to look sweet."*

Now,

*Fairness Amongst Co-wives As Regards Sexual Intercourse:*

Equality and fairness is not necessary with regards to sexual intercourse 👉 Al-Nawawi said:

Our companions said: If he treats them equally (in the matters where that is required), he does not have to treat them equally with regard to intercourse, rather he should stay overnight with all of them but he does not have to have intercourse *(the same way or rounds)* with each of them. He may have intercourse with some of them when it is their turn for him to stay with them and not others (if she is comfortable with that).. But it is a sin for him to neglect intimacy with some of them with the intention of punishing them. 📚Sharh Muslim, 10/46.

👉 ‘Ubaydah al-Salmaani said concerning intercourse:

If you are able to treat them equally with regard to the foreplay which leads to intercourse and or the intercourse itself - *(that's equal number of rounds)*, that is better, because it is more fair and just But it is not obligatory to treat them equally with regard to intimacy that is less than intercourse - eg kissing, touching, hugging etc, because if it is not essential to treat them equally with regard to intercourse, then that applies even more to the things that lead to intimacy like kiss, romance etc. 📚Al-Mughni, 7/234, 235.

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