Assalamualaikum A poet said

 Assalamualaikum A poet said:

Life is inherently difficult and tough, yet you want it to be free from all problems and troubles;

the one who expects from life the opposite of its inherent nature is like one who seeks a brand of fire from water.

Once we understand this, and we look at life realistically, we will see that seeking a life that is perfect or free of trouble is something unattainable, and it is sufficient to not let what you see of problems prevent you from finding some comfort and being determined to keep going. 

Hence ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man who wanted to divorce his wife: Why do you want to divorce her?

He said: I do not love her.

He said: Are all families based on love only? What about care and decency? (‘Uyuun al-Akhbaar, 3/18). What this means is: bear with patience any annoyance from your wife, for people in general face similar situations with their wives, but they may stick together even though they are not entirely happy with one another and do not love one another, but the need that each of them has for the other keeps them together! Through care and compassion, the members of a household show mercy to one another, and each of them is aware of his duty towards the others. Out of a sense of decency, each of them refrains from being the cause of separation or of the family collapsing. Think about the words of Allah, may He be exalted (interpretation of the meaning):

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought”

[ar-Room 30:21]. Think about how Allah, may He be exalted, has told us of the love and affection between the spouses on the basis that it is something created by Allah, and a sign of His might, not on the basis that it is something that is obligatory according to sharee‘ah, that Allah enjoined upon His slaves. For the emotion of love in the heart is not something that is under a person’s control; rather what is under his control is showing kindness and treating others decently.Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates” that is, He has created for you from your own kind females to be your wives.

“that you may find tranquillity in them” – this is similar to the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her” [al-A‘raaf 7:189], which refers to Hawwa’; Allah created her from Adam, from the shortest rib on his left hand side. If He had made all the descendants of Adam males, and had created females for them from a different kind, either from among the jinn or animals, this harmony would not exist between them and their wives; rather the result would have been aversion, if their wives were of a different kind. Moreover, by His perfect mercy towards humanity, Allah made their wives of their own kind, and He created between them affection, which is love, and compassion, which is kindness. So a man may keep his wife either because he loves her, or out of compassion towards her because he has children from her, or because she needs him with regard to maintenance, or because they get along well, or for other reasons.

End quote from Tafseer Ibn Katheer (6/309).Allah, may He be exalted, also says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And live with them [wives] in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good”

[an-Nisaa’ 4:19].

Shaykh as-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The husband is obliged to live with his wife in kindness, keeping good company with her, refraining from hurting her, treating her well, and being nice to her. That includes maintenance, clothing and so on.

“For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good” that is, you – husbands – should keep your wives even if you dislike them, for there is much good in that, which includes obeying the command of Allah and accepting His instructions, which leads to happiness in this world and the hereafter. Moreover, the husband’s forcing himself to be kind to his wife, despite his not loving her – is striving against his nafs and striving to attain good manners and a good attitude. Perhaps the dislike may cease and be replaced with love, as often happens. Perhaps he may be blessed with a righteous child from her, who will benefit his parents in this world and the hereafter. This applies when it is possible to keep her without falling into what is forbidden.

But if he has no choice but to leave her, and keeping her is out of the question, then keeping her is not a must.

End quote from Tafseer as-Sa‘di (p, 172). Muslim (1467) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.”

An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

That is, he should not despise her, for if he finds in her one characteristic that he dislikes, he will find another that is pleasing to him. She may be hot-tempered and aggressive, but she may also be religiously committed, beautiful, or chaste, or kind to him, and so on. End quote.

May Allah bless all marriages and make it easy for those who want to embark on that journey.

Aameen .Assalamualaikum Zina within Marriage

~*Dont be scared to read through.~*

A married Muslim has no reason to commit Zina for the following reasons:

1. Zina is filthy, and Islam dislikes filth. Imagine laying down with someone despite having a spouse at home waiting for you to return? That's filth...

Zina Imagine telling your kids "don't commit zina", but you hide and do the same act with someone else's mother, sister or daughter. That's filth...

1.2. Imagine opening your privacy in front of someone other than your legitimate spouse. Where will you take the shame? Allah is watching you... The Angels are bearing withness, my dear.

2. Zina is dirty - People who commit Zina in marriage can go beyond Zina. They can commit any dirty act; bcos Zina is the highest form of dirt. 

2.1. Sexual intimacy with non-mahram partner exposes you to insecurity. But you do it anyway - despite the saying of the prophet "Shyness is part of imam." When you undress and intimate a stranger or non-maharam, where do you keep your shyness?

2.2. unwanted pregnancies happen. At times people catch STDs and infect their spouses. That's dirty. Where is your sanity when you did that? How do u justify aborting an unwanted pregnancy, now from committing Zina to committing murder...Astaghfirullah!

3. Zina has fitnah in it - When you commit Zina you open yourself to the following:

3.1. Poverty - Scholars said, any man who is committing Zina, his sustenance is going down. But if he is lucky and his sustenance goes up, it means, Allah is letting him gain a lot in Dunya, but in akhirah, he will be the poorest of all.

3.2. Curse - When you commit Zina, you live in the curse of Allah and his Angels. And this curse not only affects you, but it affects people around you, especially friends. 

3.3. Wrath of Allah - One of the biggest sins in the eyes of Allah is Zina. It is so big that Allah instructs killing (stoning) against a married person who commits it. Shirk is the greatest sin, but Allah didn't instruct killing. So imagine the sin of Zina.

4. Reward of Abstaining from it - This is more reason why you should not go near Zina. 

4.1. In Jannah, Allah promises to give you everything you desire. So you can desire women or men. And they will be given to you. Allah describes the men and women of Jannah as nothing more beautiful than them in the whole world. 

4.2. Abstaining from it means you are patient. The reward of patience is this. In the day of judgement, patient people will be sheltered under the throne of Allah when others will be under the sun and its burning. 

In conclusion, If you think of Zina ever again, then remember these points:

1. Committing the acts goes against Allah and his Prophet - Going against them is a sign of disrespect and dislove. If you truly love Allah and His Prophet then abstain from Zina.

2. Zina comes with no respect and dignity. Even the people of Jahiliyyah knew this. Abu Bakr says "I am proud to say that I never commit Zina or drink alcohol during jahiliyyah period."

3. The Messenger says "Do not do onto others what you dont want others to do onto you." Zina with someone's daughter or sister or mother is an invitation to someone to commit the same act with your daughter or mother or sister. 

4. If you do it and things are still ok in terms of sustenance, then you should know, Allah is setting a trap for you.

5. Last point, what if death is what comes after you committed your last Zina? What if you die while doing it? What if immediately after doing it without performing ghusl, you die? 

Dear repent now - Don't wait and don't think about it, just repent now before it is too late. Who knows when death comes. 

May Allah save our souls from Zina.

AamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinThere are two types of trials in this world: trails that stain you, and trails that change you!