*Remarrying Issue*
[[-- Part One --]]------------------
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Everything that happens in the universe happens only by the decree of Allah, so marriage and whether it comes sooner or later, or is easy or difficult, or whether one's marriage last forever or one's marriage is covered with difficulties leading to divorce, is all subject to the decree of Allah (swt).
Today,
Many реорlе (male or female) аrе аfrаіd tо gеt оut of аn unрlеаѕаnt or hurtful rеlаtіоnѕhір, fearing societal acceptance. But, the reality is that, 80% of divorced Women are not bad but a victim of circumstances. Yes. What happened in most cases is mismatch of two different people who got together. Sometimes one is wrong one is right. Sometimes both are wrong to certain extent.
My People,
The divorced Woman you see around you might be so so good, nice and better wife material than some virgins, especially if her religious commitment and attitude is better than that of a virgin. Besides, it's a recommended Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). And so did prophet's companions. Yes. If you look at the wives of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) almost all of them were previously married (divorced or widow).
Furthermore,
The main criterion a Muslim should seek in his wife to be is NOT VIRGINITY but good manners and piety.
Evidence:
Hurairah (r.a.) reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said, *“A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!”* 📚(Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
So,
As long as the widow or a divorced woman is a dedicated virtuous Muslim and of a strong belief and good manners, she would be a good choice.
To me, a divorced woman is actually one of the best wife materials out there. My reasons: 👇🏻
Mistakes are the best teacher - A relationship, good or bad, teaches us too many lessons in life and helps nurture future relationships. At least, She had time to think about what went wrong in her previous marriage that lead to divorce and her role in that, and has tried to work on those things so she can be a better partner in any future relationship (if she made mistakes in her previous marriage).
Now,
*Rules for a Successful Remarriage:*
*Number 1:*
Create Realistic Expectations
Accept that there are inevitable ups and downs in remarried life. New love is a wonderful feeling, but it doesn’t make up for the pain of divorce, nor does it automatically restore the family to its former status.
A key issue for remarried couples to address is interpersonal communication before marriage.
What do i mean here?
Failure to communicate at an interpersonal level before the marriage may lead to another divorce. Yes. You need to remove shyness to discuss your expectations.. Discuss what borders you much in marriage.
If it's good sex, open it up with your to-be-spouse. Please tell him or her everything. And if you are like my neighbor who doesn't like...., please discuss it. Yes. It's possible that inside bedroom matters contributed to your previous divorce. So, discuss everything.
If it's food and feeding that borders you much, discuss it. Discuss everything and all your expectations
when remarrying, ensure that you fully understand your new set of responsibilities. Sit with your significant other and discuss things you can take and things you can not take in relationship. And, when you come to discuss this matters, please be truthful.
To be continued...
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