ONE BEST CHOICE [[- Episode 3 -]]

 

ONE BEST CHOICE

[[- Episode 3 -]]

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بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

That divorced woman you see might be a much better wife than a woman who has never been married—especially if her love for Allah (ﷻ) is strong and she possesses good character and manners.

This is not merely my opinion. It is supported by the blessed Sunnah. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) married women who had previously been married, including widows and divorcees. Many of his noble Companions also did the same.

If it was good enough for them, then it should not be looked down upon by us.

The most important qualities in a wife are not whether she has been married before, nor whether she has never married. What truly matters are her faith, character, modesty, and righteousness.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So marry the one who is religious.”

📚 Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim

You see!

A previously married woman may have experienced things that taught her valuable lessons. She may have had time to reflect, learn from her experiences, recognise her mistakes, and understand what she wants to do differently in the future.

That experience can bring wisdom—and wisdom can be a great blessing in marriage.

Now, to the sister preparing to marry again...

And to the sister who is already in her second or third marriage—this message is for you.

Firstly,

Let me say this: you are brave. You are strong. And your past does not make you worthless in the sight of Allah (ﷻ).

Secondly,

Let us be honest, my dear sister. A second marriage is not necessarily a bed of roses. It comes with its own tests.

There will be difficult days and beautiful days. There will be moments of happiness and moments of sadness. There will be ease, and there will be hardship.

That is life.

So do not be afraid.

The key to a successful marriage is not expecting every day to be perfect. It is learning how to face difficulties together, communicate respectfully, forgive one another, and deal with problems without deliberately hurting your spouse.

My dear sister,

When things become difficult, remember this beautiful hadith of the Prophet (ﷺ):

“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.”

📚 Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim

Every moment of worry, sadness, and difficulty is known to Allah (ﷻ).

So do not lose hope.

My dear sister,

ʿĀ’ishah (رضي الله عنها) narrated that there were times when they would go for months without cooking in their homes.

When she was asked what they survived on, she explained that they survived on dates and water.

📚 Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim

So why do we sometimes expect marriage to be perfect all the time?

Why do we think every difficult period means that the marriage has failed?

Marriage, like life itself, will have its tests.

My Dear Sister,

If you want to build a successful marriage, please hear me:

1. Do not add unnecessarily to his problems.

When times are difficult, do not make things worse through harsh words, disrespect, constant complaints, or bad behaviour. Try to be a source of peace and comfort rather than additional stress.

2. Support him when you can.

If Allah has blessed you with wealth, you may support your husband when necessary. If you do not have much, then help by managing what is available wisely, showing patience and gratitude, and avoiding unnecessary pressure.

3. Show him love during difficult times.

Anyone can show affection when everything is going well. But standing beside your spouse with patience, kindness, and love during hardship is a beautiful expression of loyalty.

4. Stop comparing.

My sister, do not compare your new husband to your former husband.

Do not constantly say:

"My ex used to do this..."

"My ex never did that..."

Every person Allah (ﷻ) places in your life has different qualities.

Perhaps your new husband has strengths that your former husband did not have. And yes, perhaps your former husband had qualities that your new husband does not have.

But the past is the past.

Do not destroy the present by constantly measuring it against what is gone.

Focus on what Allah (ﷻ) has placed before you.

Water the flowers, not the weeds. 🌹

Life is full of ups and downs.

Today may be sweet, and tomorrow may be bitter. But with sabr, sincere communication, forgiveness, mercy, mutual support, and reliance upon Allah (ﷻ), difficult seasons can be endured.

Remember: a successful marriage is not one without problems. It is one where two people continue to seek Allah's guidance and work through their problems together.

But there is still more to say...

🌹 Read the next episode — In shā’ Allāh.