Realities in Homes* [[------6th Show -----]]

 *Realities in Homes*

[[------6th Show -----]]
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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

This remind me of some people's testimonies which will help in doing justice to this topic:

*Testimony No 3:*

"The time i married my wife newly, i noticed she was (1) very weak and lazy when it comes to house work especially the cleanliness aspects of the house work; (2) she don't have waking up for midnight nawafil/Tahajjud in her dictionary... As a newly wedded couple, i thought it is something i can change within 2weeks or one month. I started with talking to her politely about her shortfalls in house work, there was no positive results. I changed face when talking to her about it but no positive results. I tried helping her in this regard, thinking that she will be guilty seeing me doing her duties but no positive results. We used to quarrelled sometimes over this, but the change i saw in this regard was not significant... About the Tahajjud prayer issue, i admonished, advice and sometimes quarrelled but no positive results. Infact, sometimes in the middle of the night, i used to go forceful with her that, *"if she can not get up to pray, then, she must remain seated watching me (not sleeping) until I'm done before she lay down"*. All these could not yeild a better fruit. I got tired and fed up.. I started putting her matters in to my Du'a, while i continued talking to her about it time to time (patiently) using wisdom. Gradually, she started changing positively. To cut the long story short, in terms of house work, i can grade her 75% now as against 10% when i married her.. About Tahajjud, as soon as my phone alarm clock ring, she wakes up too (without waking her up). I'm surprised to see her now, waking up for midnight nawafil on her own.. Our marriage will be clicking 3years in the next few months.. Alhamdulillah!!! She have changed all the undesirable behaviors in her".

Oh My People!

Sure!!! Your spouse will also change all his or her undesirable behaviors, but you need to give it time. Yes. You need efforts (good communication, Du'a making and patient) to succeed in achieving this.

Do not feel disappointed in your marriage. After all, every couple have their own unique marital problems. And Allah (swt) did not make any mistake joining the two of you. Yes. He (Allah) wanted you to earn rewards by changing your spouse's undesirable behaviors to a desirable one.

Since marriage is an act of worship, every spouse is expected to be the Dr ZAKIR NAIK in his or her family. Yes. The Muslim – any Muslim – is a daa’iyah (propagator)who calls people to Allah, so the first people whom he or she calls should be his or her children and family members who are close to him or her. Allah (swt) commanded His Messenger (pbuh) to start by FIRST calling people close to him,

Evidence:

وَأَنذِرْ عَشِيرَتَكَ ٱلْأَقْرَبِينَ

"And warn, [O Muhammad], your closest kindred." 📚Ash-Shu'ara' 26:214

Now,

*How To Handle A Difficult Husband Or Wife When it Comes to Change:*

Continuation of the previous episodes - as promised.

*Tip No 2:* Get to the Root of the Problem

If for instance, "Anger issues" typically stem from the fact that your partner’s needs are not being met. If you find your partner worrying about trivial things, pause for a second, and assess if there’s a larger, underlying problem at hand.

In such a situation, put yourself in your partner’s shoes and look at things from their perspective. Reverse the roles and see how you feel. Rather than pushing the point across.

*Tip No 3:* Pick your Battles Wisely

In a relationship, it’s not about losing or winning arguments or fights but....

TO BE CONTINUED

سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك نشهد ان لا اله الا انت نستغفرك ونتوابوااليك