Realities in Homes* [[------7th Show -----]]

 *Realities in Homes*

[[------7th Show -----]]
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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

If bribery can play a positive role in the restoration of peace, love and affection amongst married couples, then, then, Islam will not reject husband bribing his wife with the intention of winning her love or attention and vice versa.

This remind me,

(1) There was a man I knew who have 2 wives, he have the means of feeding the wives but out of stinginess & weekedness, he was not feeding them, not talk of other necessary things.. One day, the 2 wives got fed up and form alliance to deal with him in their own way.. The 2 wives denied him from browsing their websites for just one week.. The same man came down begging, asking for the reasons why his wives form the alliance to starve him inside bedroom.. The wives told him that, if he want to Google search or browse anyone amongst them, then, he must provide DATA (MB).. He asked them what browsing & Data is all about😃. They told that - *"if he want to have sex, then, provide feeding money everyday"* - and wallahi the man changed immediately to a responsible husband.

(2) One of the Imams of the masjid i pray regularly once told me how he dealt with his Amarya (his second wife):

You know Imams with steadfastness when it comes to Ibadah. Unfortunately for the Imam, the second wife he married was then, very weak when it comes to steadfastness in acts of ibadah. The Imam married her few days before the commencement of the Ramadan fast. According to the Imam - *"I observed that my second wife hardly observe some obligatory swalah at its prescribed times. When it comes to nawafil, she was zero. Even inside the month of Ramadan when you will see everybody striving to pray in the night, she was....😷. I exhausted all the methods i have to change her, but the results was not positively significant. Then, i now used plan 🅱️, which is withdrawal of some things i used to buy for her and for her breakfast. The first day, i did not buy items for cooking good soup (as i used to) and no single fruit was purchased for her breakfast. She asked me to know whether it's the money i do not have. I told her No, and even showed her the balance in my Bank account. She asked me why i refused and i told her that - 'you don't do this this this and that despite all my warning and preachings'.. She thought i was joking. The following day, i repeated the treatment. Guess what! She changed almost all the undesirable behaviors i was suffering preaching to her for change "*.. Alhamdulillah!!!

Now,

*How To Handle A Difficult Husband Or Wife When it Comes to Change:*

Continuation of the previous episodes - as promised.

*Tip No 3:* Pick your Battles Wisely

In a relationship, it’s not about losing or winning arguments or fights but being mindful and choosing between matters that just need to blow over and issues that are worth tackling. So, carefully choose the time and place. Yes. If you are angry, tired, or otherwise upset, postpone the conversation until you can verbalize your thoughts with more care and control. Otherwise, you might say things you do not mean. Remember that changing your spouse's undesirable behaviors is a rewarding job which demand the use of wisdom, as evident in Quran verse:

ٱدْعُ إِلَىٰ سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِٱلْحِكْمَةِ وَٱلْمَوْعِظَةِ ٱلْحَسَنَةِۖ وَجَٰدِلْهُم بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُۚ

"Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best..." 📚An-Nahl 16:125

Muslim Faithful!

In most cases, changing someone else's behaviors is not an easy task. It doesn't only take time but require different workable methodologies. And just like children, some men or women fall easily to "doing or stop-doing" something when they are bribed with gift(s) in one way or the other.