BUILDING A MARRIAGE THAT LASTS

 FAJR REMINDER: BUILDING A MARRIAGE THAT LASTS

By: Umm Affān

Muḥarram 14, 1448 (29-June-2026)

Marriage, as ordained by Allāh, is meant to be a source of peace, affection, and mercy. It is a relationship in which both husband and wife find comfort, protection, and tranquillity in one another. Allāh says: “They (spouse) are Libās (i.e. garment) for you and you are the same for them.” [Sūrah Al-Baqarah (2): 187]

Imām al-Qurṭubī (Raḥimahullāh) commented: “Allāh used the following words to describe marriage as the same as wearing one's clothes to protect oneself from the cold and heat; similarly marriage is a means of safeguarding oneself from sins. Also, marriage provides peace and tranquillity to the heart and there is a physical bond between the husband and wife the same way one's clothes are closely attached to a person.” [Tafsīr al-Qurṭubī (2/209)]

By the Grace of Allāh, I dedicate this morning's FAJR REMINDER to every married couple, especially those who have recently begun their journey together. A successful marriage is not sustained by the excitement of the honeymoon alone. Rather, it flourishes when both spouses intentionally nurture emotional closeness, strengthen their bond, and continually invest in one another.

One of the most effective ways to achieve this is by showing affection every day (Daily Affection Warmth). Even the smallest gestures can have a lasting impact. A sincere hug, a gentle kiss on the forehead, holding hands before sleeping, or taking a quiet moment to appreciate one another can strengthen the marital bond. These simple acts remind both spouses that they are not merely sharing a house, but building a life together as husband and wife. When daily affection disappears, love often begins to weaken.

It is also beneficial for couples to dedicate time each month exclusively to one another. A monthly outing, whether for dinner, tea, coffee, a walk, or even a peaceful drive, provides an opportunity to reconnect away from the pressures of daily responsibilities. The objective is not extravagant spending but meaningful togetherness. Marriage thrives when spouses intentionally pause the demands of life and enjoy each other's company.

Likewise, setting aside time once a year for a short getaway romance can greatly benefit the relationship. A weekend retreat or a brief vacation allows husband and wife to step away from routines and responsibilities. Such moments serve as a reminder that beyond being parents, workers, or providers, they are companions who should continue to cherish and love one another. Renewing romance is an important ingredient in preserving a healthy and lasting marriage.

Though these practices differ in form, they all share the same purpose: to intentionally choose one another again and again. A strong marriage does not happen by chance; it is built through consistent effort, sincere care, and mutual commitment. Our Lord says: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." [Sūrah Ar-Rūm (30): 21]

I beseech Allāh to fill our homes with love, tranquillity, affection, and mercy, to strengthen the bond between every husband and wife, to protect our marriages from every trial, and to make our spouses the coolness of our eyes in this world and the next. Aameen.