A PATHWAY TO GOODNESS

 FAJR REMINDER: A PATHWAY TO GOODNESS

By: Umm Affān

Rabī' Al-Awwal 7, 1448 (20-August-2026)

Those who have living parents should always show them kindness and respect, as they are a precious source of blessings, a means of having your prayers answered, and a pathway to goodness in both this life and the Hereafter. Therefore, worship Allāh and be dutiful to your parents.

A well-known Ḥadīth tells the story of three men trapped in a cave, narrated by ‘Abdullāh Ibn ‘Umar (Raḍiyallāhu ‘Anhumā). In this story, one of the men called upon Allāh through a sincere deed of dutifulness towards his parents. He said: “O Allāh, I had two old parents with my wife and young child. I tended to a flock, and when evening came, I milked them and served my parents first before my child. One day, I went in search of fodder and did not return until evening. I found them both sleeping, so I milked as I had done before. I brought the milk and stood by their heads, for I hated to disrupt their sleep or serve my child before both of them. My child was crying at my feet, yet I continued standing over them until the dawn approached. If You know I had done that seeking Your countenance, then relieve us of this distress that we might see the sky!’ Allāh shifted the boulder until they could see the sky.” [Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 3465, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2473].

Al-Ḥāfiẓ Ibn Ḥajar al-‘Asqalānī (Raḥimahullāh) identifies several lessons from the man's behavior towards his parents, stating that: “In it is the virtue of sincerity in one's deeds; the virtue of dutifulness to one's parents and serving them; giving preference to them over one's children and family; and bearing hardship for their sake.” [Fatḥ al-Bārī 6/510]

Imām An-Nawawī (Raḥimahullāh) also remarks: “In this Ḥadīth is the virtue of dutifulness to one's parents, the virtue of serving them, and giving them preference over others, including one's children and wife.” [Sharḥ Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 17/54]

A noteworthy aspect of this narration is that his young children were crying from hunger, yet he chose not to provide them with the milk before attending to his elderly parents. Ibn Ḥajar (Raḥimahullāh) discusses this apparent difficulty and underscores several possible reasons, including that the Sharī'ah (legislation) at that time may have required prioritizing parents in matters of sustenance. He concludes that the strongest explanation is that the children were seeking more than what was necessary to avoid starvation.

This understanding is crucial as the Ḥadīth should not be misinterpreted to mean that one must allow their children to suffer from hunger in the presence of elderly parents. Rather, Ibn Ḥajar (Raḥimahullāh) clarifies the specific circumstances surrounding this man's actions. To better appreciate this point, Ibn ‘Umar (Raḍiyallāhu ‘Anhumā) said, “Allāh has called them the ‘dutiful‘ (al-Abrar) because they are dutiful to their parents and children. Just as you have a duty to your parent, you also have a duty to your child.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 94].

The most striking point is that Allāh accepted this man's sincere dedication to his parents as a means of alleviating an extraordinary calamity. Therefore, a genuine act of Birr al-Wālidayn may serve as one of the most powerful ways to seek Allāh's Assistance in times of hardship.

An essential aspect of Birr al-Wālidayn is the necessity of never raising your voice at your parents. Allāh (ﷻ) warns: “...say not to them ‘Uff‘ (a word of disrespect), nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honour...” [Sūrah Al-Isrā' (17): 23-24] Ibn Kathīr (Raḥimahullāh) elaborates on the prohibition of saying “Uff” (أُفّ): “Do not let them hear any bad speech from you, not even ‘Uff,’ which is the lowest degree of bad speech.” [Tafsīr Ibn Kathīr, 17:23]

Notably, Allāh does not merely forbid insults to one's parents; He establishes a much lower threshold: even the slightest expression of irritation is prohibited. If even minimal verbal signs of irritation are forbidden, stronger forms of verbal abuse are obviously even more unacceptable. Allāh (ﷻ) emphasizes immediately afterward: “And speak to them a noble word” — meaning to communicate gently, pleasantly, and respectfully, with good manners and reverence.

Additionally, part of ‘Uqūq al-Wālidayn (undutifulness to parents) is neglecting one's parents, failing to visit them, and not providing the necessary care, such as their dietary needs and health check-ups. If they require medical attention, ensure you take them to the doctor. When you were young and vulnerable, they devoted their time to care for you whenever you were unwell.

Sigh! I beseech Allāh (ﷻ) to grant us all the strength to be dutiful to our parents. Aameen.