THE HONOUR OF DAUGHTERS IN ISLĀM

 FAJR REMINDER: THE HONOUR OF DAUGHTERS IN ISLĀM

By: Umm Affān

Rabī' Al-Awwal 12, 1448 (25-August-2026)

It is an age-old practice among some parents to favour their sons over their daughters. But what does Islām say about such treatment? Islām teaches parents not to treat their children unfairly simply because of their gender. It strongly condemns attitudes that devalue daughters and commands parents to deal justly with all their children.

Before the advent of Islām, brought by Prophet Muḥammad (ﷺ), some Arabs regarded the birth of a daughter as a disgrace. Allāh (ﷻ) condemned this evil attitude, saying: “And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision.” [Sūrah An-Naḥl (16): 58-59]

Islām came and completely rejected the notion that having a daughter is something shameful. Daughters are not a burden; rather, they are a tremendous blessing from Allāh. A daughter may even become one of her father's greatest means of attaining Jannah.

Jābir Ibn ‘Abdillāh reported: The Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ) said, “Whoever has three daughters and he cares for them, he is merciful to them, and he clothes them, then Paradise is certainly required for him.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allāh, what if he has only two?” The Prophet said, “Even two.” Some people thought that if they had said to him one, the Prophet would have said, “Even one.” [Musnad Aḥmad 14247]

Imām al-Qārī (Raḥimahullāh) commented, “It is possible that the Prophet initially informed them of the ruling concerning three, and then a man said, ‘Or two?’ Thereupon he replied, ‘Or two,’ by means of a new revelation. So much so that had they said, ‘Or one?’ he would have agreed with them as well...” [Mirqāt al-Mafātīḥ 8/3116]

In another narration, Anas Ibn Mālik reported: The Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ) said, “Whoever cares for two girls until they reach maturity, then he and I will come together on the Day of Resurrection,” and the Prophet held up his two fingers together. [Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2631]

Love, tenderness, and affection towards daughters are part of the Sunnah. Indeed, in our beloved Prophet Muḥammad (ﷺ), we have the most beautiful example. Ā'ishah reported: “I have not seen anyone more closely resemble the disposition, mannerisms, and characteristics of the Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ) than his daughter Fāṭimah, may Allāh honor her countenance. If she entered his home, the Prophet would stand for her, take her by the hand, kiss her, and seat her in his place. If the Prophet entered her home, she would stand for him, take him by the hand, kiss him, and seat him in her place.” [Sunan Abī Dāwūd 5217]

This beautiful example teaches us that showing love and honour to our daughters is not a weakness or something to be ashamed of; rather, it is part of the noble character taught and demonstrated by the Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ).

What about giving gifts to children? Here, too, Islām requires parents to be just. However, Islāmic justice does not necessarily mean giving every child the same thing in every situation. Children may have different needs because of their age, health, education, disability, or financial situation. What Islām forbids is unjust favouritism and discrimination.

Examples of unjust and harmful favouritism include celebrating a son's achievements while ignoring a daughter's accomplishments, providing a son with educational opportunities while restricting a daughter without a valid reason, showing a son more affection, treating a daughter as though she is only a temporary member of the family, or saying, “A son carries the family name while a daughter leaves.” I am my father's only daughter, and I am blessed to have a father and brothers who treat me with kindness and love. Alḥamdulillāh!

Dear parents, know that your daughter is also an ‘Amānah from Allāh. A son is not automatically more valuable simply because he is a son. Do not allow your daughter to spend her childhood wondering, “Would my parents have loved me more if I were a boy?” Be just amongst your children. Give your daughter the honour Islām has given her. No child should have to compete for the love and acceptance of their parents.

I beseech Allāh (ﷻ) to make us treat our children with justice, love, and mercy. Aameen.