PROTECTING INNOCENCE AND TEACHING MODESTY

 FAJR REMINDER: PROTECTING INNOCENCE AND TEACHING MODESTY

By: Umm Affān

Ṣafar 25, 1448 (9-August-2026)

Another important aspect of Tarbiyah al-Awlād (Child Upbringing) that every parent should pay attention to is protecting their children's innocence while gradually teaching them appropriate boundaries between the two sexes. This does not mean exposing children to adult concepts before they are ready. Rather, it means teaching them, in an Islāmic and age-appropriate manner, about safety, modesty, privacy, and self-respect.

This aspect of upbringing includes teaching children about ‘Awrah (private parts) naturally when dressing or undressing, helping them understand that “My body is mine, and I can say no,” using correct and respectful language when speaking about the body, and teaching them the importance of privacy when using the bathroom, changing clothes, or getting dressed. 

Parents should also gently prepare boys and girls for puberty, explaining Ḥayā’ (modesty) as an aspect of Eemān (faith) and a beautiful form of protection rather than something burdensome or restrictive. They should teach children how to interact respectfully with the opposite gender and guide them away from content, environments, or companies that may harm their innocence.

Such education helps protect a child from confusion, fear, and exploitation, especially in today's world. It teaches them what parts of the body are private, that their body deserves protection, and that no one has the right to touch it inappropriately. It also helps them distinguish between safe and unsafe touch, understand that modesty is a shield rather than a burden, recognise that puberty is a natural part of growing up and not something shameful, and learn how to lower their gaze while respecting the boundaries of others.

Allāh (ﷻ) instructs us in the Qur'ān: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.)...” [Sūrah An-Nūr (24): 30] In the subsequent verse, He (ﷻ) further directs: “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.)…” [Sūrah An-Nūr (24): 31]

Children should also learn that obtaining permission and privacy are important. They should be taught from an early age to seek permission before entering private spaces, especially bedrooms and other places where someone may be changing or resting. Allāh (ﷻ) says: “O you who believe! Let your legal slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty, ask your permission (before they come to your presence) on three occasions: before Fajr (morning) prayer, and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the 'Isha' (late-night) prayer. (These) three times are of privacy for you...” [Sūrah An-Nūr (24): 58]

Notably, complete upbringing is not limited to teaching children acts of worship. It is about building a whole human being. We should strive to raise children who are emotionally secure, spiritually connected, morally grounded, modest, and self-respecting; children who are confident yet humble, courageous yet gentle, and aware of their worth without becoming arrogant.

A child whose heart is soft, whose manners are beautiful, and whose Ḥayā’ protects them like a shield—this is among the true signs of successful Child Upbringing.

I beseech Allāh (ﷻ) to aid us in the beautiful nurturing of our children's hearts, character, and modesty. Aameen.